Weekly Weigh-in: WEEK 12

 

 

Starting weight: 192.0 lbs

 

Week 1 weight: 190.5 lbs (loss of 1.5)

Week 2 weight: 188.0 lbs (loss of 2.5)
Week 3 weight: 187.0 lbs (loss of 1.0)
Week 4 weight: 186.0 lbs (loss of 1.0)
Week 5 weight: 184.0 lbs (loss of 2.0)
Week 6 weight: 181.3 lbs (loss of 2.7)
Week 7 weight: 179.4 lbs (loss of 1.9)
Week 8 weight: 179.6 lbs (gain of 0.2)
Week 9 weight: 179.0 lbs (loss of 0.6)
Week 10 weight: 177.1 lbs (loss of 1.9)
Week 11 weight: 176.0 lbs (loss of 1.1)
(two week break for surgery)
Week 12 weight: 171.6 lbs (loss of 4.4)

Total loss: 20.4 lbs

 

 

Week 1 inches lost: 0.75"
Week 2 inches lost: 0.75"
Week 3 inches lost: 1.25"
Week 4 inches lost: 1.5"
Week 5 inches lost: 1.5"
Week 6 inches lost: 0.75"
Week 7 inches lost: 0.75"
Week 8 inches lost: 0"
Week 9 inches lost: 0.25"
Week 10 inches lost: 1.0"
Week 11 inches lost: 1.0"
(two week break for surgery)
Week 12 inches lost: 3.75"

Total loss: 13.25"

 

Week 1 Steps/Miles: 106,731 / 45.89 mi.

Week 2 Steps/Miles: 109,858 / 48.48 mi.
Week 3 Steps/Miles: 102,225 / 50.13 mi.
Week 4 Steps/Miles/Running: 104,213 / 49.63 mi. walking and 1.6 mi. running!!
Week 5 Steps/Miles/Running: 96,139 / 47.10 mi. walking and 0 mi. running
Week 6 Steps/Miles/Running: 99,991/ 49.01 mi. walking and 0.5 mi. running
Week 7 Steps/Miles/Running: 83,568/ 40.92 mi. walking and 0 mi. running
Week 8 Steps/Miles/Running: 57,164/ 27.99 mi. walking and 0 mi. running
Week 9 Steps/Miles/Running: 77,896/ 38.76 mi. walking and 0 mi. running
Week 10 Steps/Miles/Running: 80,376/ 39.60 mi. walking and 1.9 mi. running
Week 11 Steps/Miles/Running: 49,679/ 24.32 mi. walking and 0.8 mi. running
(two week break for surgery - still on activity restriction for 4 additional weeks)
Week 12 Steps/Miles/Running: 45,651/ 22.35 mi. walking and 0 mi. running

 

Week 1 avg. calorie intake: 1,955

Week 2 avg. calorie intake: 1,621 (much better - I met this week's goal!)
Week 3 avg. calorie intake: 1,823 (yikes!)
Week 4 avg. calorie intake: 1,745
Week 5 avg. calorie intake: 1,579
Week 6 avg. calorie intake: 1,603
Week 7 avg. calorie intake: 1,613
Week 8 avg. calorie intake: 1,539
Week 9 avg. calorie intake: 1,564
Week 10 avg. calorie intake: 1,523
Week 11 avg. calorie intake: did not track
Week 12 avg. calorie intake: did not track

 

Moment(s) I am proud of:

First - Fit bit sent me THIS: :)

Thanks Fit bit! I love the weekly overview emails, and the congratulatory emails you receive when you hit a milestone...

Second, I tried on my wedding dress that I wore on our wedding day - July 24th, 2005. It fit! I weighed 165 then, so I am very, very close. Why did I try it on? Well, I need to wear it in the beginning of December when Dean and I DANCE in the Nutcracker!!!!!! EEEEK! We are playing the part of one of the couples in the party scene in Act 1. The performance attire for the ladies is an evening gown. Technically, that is what my wedding dress is. Since it was my second marriage, I didn't go all out with a fancy gown (been there/done that), so I opted for an ivory cocktail dress with a stoll. Turns out, it is perfect for the performance! Now I just have to figure out how to dance in heels. I've been cooking this up since August, when the plea for parent participants went out to all families of the dance academy, so I knew this was looming. It has been a very good motivator for me, actually.

Third, I'm having to start taking in some clothes. I'm not ready to go out clothes shopping yet. My breasts are still very swollen, and I still have 20 more pounds to go to get to my goal. I may have to go to the second hand store to buy a few things to get me by.

 

Nutritional changes/observations: I am not tracking still... But I need to be. This is the habit that is the hardest to keep going. Water, water, water. I think that the biggest reason I am having an issue with swelling is that I am not drinking enough water. In the 2-3 days after the surgery, I could not get enough. Then after that, I backed off considerably. Not a good thing...

 

 

What hurts: My boobs are still very, very sore. I have paper tape over 80% of my incisions, the rest is still in the process of scabbing up. Everything is closed up so I don't have any more seepage, but some of the scab areas are quite large - dime size. I don't react well to paper tape - there is something in the adhesive that irritates my skin, so I will need to go back to the PS tomorrow to purchase some scar serum that they recommended. If I use that serum, I don't have to wear the tape. I did go without the tape a day ago, and I felt ....vulnerable?? Like if I stretched above my head I would rip something open. There are also bruises still fading and new ones appearing, so I feel tender. I officially 'walked' twice last week. The first one, at the beginning of the week was a rather short one - I got tired very quickly, and the second sports bra was adding an incredible amount of uncomfortable compression. My second walk was yesterday, and it felt much better. I noticed no 'huffing' in my breath as I moved. Before, the boob bounce would actually make me huff with each step. Now there is nothing!! :)

 

 

Confessional: Halloween Candy? The good thing is that I have not purchased ANY! (self back pat...) The bad thing is I was with my family last night watching my nephew in a marching band competition, and I was downing candy right and left every time a bag was passed down the row. I completely ignored the snacks I brought with me to avoid the candy in the first place...

 

 

Deep thoughts from exercise delirium:

 

 

My goal for next week: Get a walk in - no matter how short - every day.

 

Posted with Blogsy

One Week post BR recovery..

I am not going to sugar-coat this and say this surgery was a breeze, and I feel sooo much better and unicorns and rainbows and glitter dust and blah blah blah...

Bullshit.

This is by far the crappiest thing I have ever put my body through.  Sorry body.  You're doing awesome considering what you have been through....  Only a few more weeks of this, I swear!

I am going to say that - for my case (because everybody is different) - my surgeon did exactly what I wanted him to, which is why it has been so tough.  I said I wanted high and tight.  No jiggle.  No sag.  No overhang.  And that is exactly what he did.  I now have a new understanding of what tight means.  Tight (when swollen) means no stretching, coughing, sneezing, laughing, lifting (anything!).  High means I still have a place to rest my plate when eating on the couch.  :(

So how do I feel?

Everything hurts.  I have a sharp pain on each side, like a knife is sticking into my ribcage.  My PS tells me this is because he removed fat in that area right down to the muscle.  It will be extra sore there for a while yet.  My incision is long.  The tail ends of it dip below the bra line on either side.  So it hurts to lean against my side - like on the couch or something.  The incision runs across my chest, following the contours of the underside of my breasts.  I have to wear maxi pads as padding along the band of my stretchy sports bra.  The incisions also run up the underside of each breast and circle around each nipple.  One side has been oozing since surgery day.  I have to wear pads along that incision line too.  I have surgical tape covering all of these incisions, but yesterday the PS removed the tape on both sides that runs between the bra line and the nipple because there were some yellow spots appearing.  Now I just have gauze taped in place there that I need to change out every 8 hours.  I am numb on both sides, in the same area.  If you were looking at two clocks side-by-side, it would be like 3-6 and 6-9, L to R.  I have zingers all the time, or the sensation that the entire area is clenching in a muscle spasm, and then it releases.  Weird and painful at the same time.

How do I look?

Well... a lot different, that's for sure.  You know the pencil test you used to do in Jr. High?  Before surgery I could hold NINE pencils.  Yes, that's right.  NINE.  Now?  None.  I don't think I will ever be able to hold one again!  The 36" sports bra stretches around me just fine, and compresses things just the right amount.  They are definitely perky.  Like permanently perky.  Like - put those things AWAY perky.  This bothers me.  I know that they are very swollen as well though, so I hope that they relax... a lot.  For now, though, I would look right at home in an eighteenth century brothel.

My take on meds:

arnica montana: despite copious amounts of arnica montana, the swelling has only lessened here and there - and then only temporarily.  It has helped with the bruising, so yes, arnica montana gets a thumbs up from me.  I didn't start taking it until day three because I forgot to.  :(

Hydrocodone: I've been taking 2 every 6 hours or so since arriving home.  One time I think I made it 8 hours before I needed it.  I tried to go without yesterday, because Dean needs to get back to work and I can't/shouldn't drive while taking this stuff.  So yesterday I made the break and I took Tylenol all day.  It was a long, uncomfortable day.  At three this morning I broke down and took two.  The pain was bad and there is no reason to suffer.  I feel sort of out of it while on this stuff, so this whole week has been hazy, but I've also been able to keep the homeschooling wheels grinding and remind Dean of when the next kid delivery to an activity was, so it was not like I was a total zombie.  But I know I shouldn't drive on this stuff.  It has also not helped with the constipation issue.  I am going to go back to Tylenol, and only use this stuff when I absolutely need it.  Surely the pain will decrease in the next few days...

Dulocolax - 10 pills over 6 days did absolutely nothing.  :(

Magnesium citrate - One dose plus 14 hours of waiting time (!) did finally produce results.  I would not recommend waiting 6 days to use it.  It was a long, miserable week.

Florastor - I am taking this to counteract the 7 day antibiotic I am on.  I hope it works.

So, I just plan to keep plugging along.  Next week Dean is at work again, so it will be a lot tougher.  I hope I have a weekend of miracle-like healing...

Surgery and the first day of recovery...

The night before surgery was hard.  It was hard to kiss and hug the kids goodnight because I would be leaving for the hospital with my mom before they got up that next morning.  The surgery center itself was great.  I wasn't nervous about what was about to happen, but I was nervous about something going wrong, or having a bad reaction to something.  None of that was the case - at least so far.

The PS removed 630g from my left and a whopping 818g from the right (that's just over 3 lbs total).  And I am pretty sure most of that was side boob because that is where I hurt the most right now... :( It took me nearly four hours to get through recovery.  The nurse kept pushing the pain meds through my IV, which would, in turn, make me sleepy, so it was hard to rouse me.  Dean kept pushing the ice chips, crackers and apple juice and I finally I woke up enough and had enough in my stomach that she could give me a pain pill and I could go home.  I slept off and on for the rest of the day.  I was bound very, very tightly, and the dressings were shoved under my boobs so much that what boob was left was practically touching my chin.  Okay - maybe a slight exaggeration, but if your to squeeze your boobs together from the sides and then push them up, that was how I was bound.  It was hard to breathe.

I am to be drinking water constantly to flush the anesthesia out of my system, but that is not so hard because one of my meds is giving me cotton-mouth anyway.  I'm not nauseous for the most part, thanks to a anti-nausea patch they put behind my ear. I'm still a bit unsteady on my feet, so as long as I am laying down (I have to recline at 45 degrees for a couple of weeks), everything is fine.  As soon as I sit or stand up, the pain along my incisions is very intense.  The pain meds can only do so much...

I have seen them - I went to the PS yesterday for my post-op, and the nurse unbound me and checked all of the incisions.  I looked in the mirror.  They will be the perfect size once the swelling subsides.  I thought that I would cry tears of joy when I saw them, but the reality hasn't sunk in yet.  They hurt too much to appreciate what has happened...  Right now they are so swollen that they are rock-hard.  The nurse helped me put on a sports bra that I got at Walmart.  She had suggested getting a front closure that doesn't have molded cups.  There are no cup sizes for this particular bra, just a band size (I got a 36).  When I had purchased this bra, I said to myself, "You've got to be kidding me..."  I'm actually going to FIT into this thing???  Lo' and behold, I did!  It is very tight (because of the swelling) but that is a good thing, because compression will help.  I have two maxi pads in each side, running in opposite directions to cover the incision lines, plus a rolled up wad of gauze shoved into each side, under the arm pit, to keep my boobs pushed forward.  That is what is most uncomfortable right now.  I look like a linebacker...  I have to keep those gauze rolls in there for two weeks.  :(

Today I get to take a shower and just rest up...

Weekly Weigh-in: WEEK 11

 

 



 

 

Starting weight: 192.0  lbs

 

Week 1 weight: 190.5 lbs (loss of 1.5)

Week 2 weight: 188.0 lbs (loss of 2.5)
Week 3 weight: 187.0 lbs (loss of 1.0)
Week 4 weight: 186.0 lbs (loss of 1.0)
Week 5 weight: 184.0 lbs (loss of 2.0)
Week 6 weight: 181.3 lbs (loss of 2.7)
Week 7 weight: 179.4 lbs (loss of 1.9)
Week 8 weight: 179.6 lbs (gain of 0.2)
Week 9 weight: 179.0 lbs (loss of 0.6)
Week 10 weight: 177.1 lbs (loss of 1.9)
Week 11 weight: 176.0 lbs (loss of 1.1)

Total loss: 16.0 lbs

 

 

Week 1 inches lost: 0.75"
Week 2 inches lost: 0.75"
Week 3 inches lost: 1.25"
Week 4 inches lost: 1.5"
Week 5 inches lost: 1.5"
Week 6 inches lost: 0.75"
Week 7 inches lost: 0.75"
Week 8 inches lost: 0"
Week 9 inches lost: 0.25"
Week 10 inches lost: 1.0"
Week 11 inches lost: 1.0"

Total loss: 9.5"

 

Week 1 Steps/Miles: 106,731 / 45.89 mi.

Week 2 Steps/Miles: 109,858 / 48.48 mi.
Week 3 Steps/Miles: 102,225 / 50.13 mi.
Week 4 Steps/Miles/Running: 104,213 / 49.63 mi. walking and 1.6 mi. running!!
Week 5 Steps/Miles/Running:   96,139 / 47.10 mi. walking and 0   mi. running
Week 6 Steps/Miles/Running:   99,991/  49.01 mi. walking and 0.5 mi. running
Week 7 Steps/Miles/Running:   83,568/  40.92 mi. walking and 0   mi. running
Week 8 Steps/Miles/Running:   57,164/  27.99 mi. walking and 0   mi. running
Week 9 Steps/Miles/Running:   77,896/  38.76 mi. walking and 0   mi. running
Week 10 Steps/Miles/Running:  80,376/ 39.60 mi. walking and 1.9 mi. running
Week 11 Steps/Miles/Running:  49,679/ 24.32 mi. walking and 0.8 mi. running

 

Week 1 avg. calorie intake: 1,955

Week 2 avg. calorie intake: 1,621  (much better - I met this week's goal!)
Week 3 avg. calorie intake: 1,823  (yikes!)
Week 4 avg. calorie intake: 1,745
Week 5 avg. calorie intake: 1,579
Week 6 avg. calorie intake: 1,603
Week 7 avg. calorie intake: 1,613
Week 8 avg. calorie intake: 1,539
Week 9 avg. calorie intake: 1,564
Week 10 avg. calorie intake: 1,523
Week 11 avg. calorie intake: did not track

 

 

Moment(s) I am proud of: Monday morning (last week) I had my best run yet.  I typically slow down after that first half mile because I feel slightly sick, but this run felt absolutely awesome!!  That was my last run for quite a while... My next run, in maybe about six weeks will feel completely different.  I know that realistically I will feel like I am back at square one endurance wise, but I won't have big boobs bouncing around!!!  Yippee!!

 

 

Nutritional changes/observations: I stopped tracking this week and gave myself permission to eat whatever.  Of course, the first thing I notice is that I immediately go back to the whole bread/potato/rice thing...  I am looking forward to the coming weeks when I can eat clean again.

 

 

What hurts: My boobs are killing me.  That is probably because they know something is up... (muah-ha-ha...)  Just like when the cat scowls at you when she sees you packing a suitcase, my boobs are acting up.  My period is due any day.  I don't think that this surgery could have come at a worse time of the month, but it couldn't be helped.  I usually don't notice any changes in my boobs in relation to my period, other than they are painfully sensitive.  For the past week though, I have been having painful zingers all through my breasts, and they feel like they are on fire!  Oooowwwww...  This is how I am supposed to feel AFTER surgery, not BEFORE.

 

 

Confessional: I ate (a lot...ahem) and I exercised little.  Here is why.  On Monday last week, after I had run my awesome run and was in a great mood, I went to my pre-op appointment with my PS and actually got SCOLDED for losing so much weight.  Yes.  That's right.  I got in trouble for losing weight. 

Can you imagine???

Apparently I am on the borderline as to how much tissue the surgeon can safely remove from each breast.  The insurance company has taken a very hard line on this, and has set a threshold of 600 grams from each breast - which is in excess of what the industry standard is for my BMI.  He is going to have to take a lot.  He was even concerned about this amount back when I weighed 192.  Now I have made it even harder for him....  It is risky because A) I will not be happy with the results.  It will look odd on my body frame to have too-small breasts, and B) If the surgeon removes too much tissue, I am at risk of permanently losing sensation or even my nipple on my smaller breast.  My nipple could turn black and fall off.  I've seen pictures.  It's horrific.  So, we are going into this with the agreement that if he needs to stop short of the amount to keep me happy with the results and keep my breasts safe, so be it.  So I gave myself permission to go hog-wild this past week.  Four pounds later - I feel like a bloated lazy-butt.  I know some of that is fluid-retention from my period.

 

 

Deep thoughts from exercise delirium: Back to that awesome run... it was so good.  I thought about it all week.  I so wanted to do a 5K this coming New Year's Eve, called the Resolution Run.  I ran/walked it 9 years ago, with a friend, and it was such a great experience.  I have thought about that 5K for the past several weeks, actually.  Now I don't know.  It all depends on the recovery.  I can't run for at least 6-8 weeks, so that gives me like zero time to train.  I have decided though that I want to do it for sure, even if I have to walk for most of it.  It was such an awesome goal, I don't want to let it go.  Maybe later in the Spring...

 

 

My goal for next week: I am just focusing on tomorrow (surgery day!!!), and then after that, one day at a time.  I am going to take a break from the weekly updates for the next 2-3 weeks. 

In preparation...

I am finding it difficult to convey the myriad of emotions that is going on in my head right now. I might be looking at you and discussing this or that, but I confess - I am not really present. My mind is somewhere else... At any given moment I am feeling a private kind of terror, a whirlwind of dizzying excitement or absolute disbelief about the upcoming changes that will happen to my body.

Electing to radically change my appearance through surgery makes me feel crazy, hopeful and vain - all at the same time. It will be a tremendous change - both physically and psychologically. I have read countless BR surgical reviews where patients reported that the physical pain/discomfort associated with large breasts (the back, neck, shoulder and head aches) disappeared almost immediately after surgery. I can't wrap my head around that sense of physical freedom that will be mine in just a couple more days, but the thought of it makes me tear up with indescribable joy and gratitude...

Psychologically, I have no regrets about what is to come - no lingering doubt or thoughts that I might miss 'them'. Absolutley not! It is degrading the way some men treat me. My boobs enter the room before I do, and can potentially attract unwanted attention. When I go in for my surgery in a couple days, the surgeon won't be just removing three pounds of breast tissue. He will also be removing years and years and years of teasing, insensitive comments, and feelings of humiliation. I shall bear my new scars with honor, for they will be testament to the fact that I have born this burden for long enough, and that I am worth this gift I can't even begin to put a price on. This isn't about my inability to accept my body as is. This is about taking charge to end the pain, and loving myself enough to take my life in a totally new direction.

Posted with Blogsy

I shall wear purple...

 

 

Yesterday morning, I made my usual pass by the tennis courts in my neighborhood during my walk/run.  There were four elderly ladies there, playing a game of doubles.  I've seen them a handful of times, so they must meet regularly to play.  They are fit and trim and quite good at their game.

 

 

Oh I hope I have that spunk, that life, that mobility when I reach that stage in my life.