I am finding it difficult to convey the myriad of emotions that is going on in my head right now. I might be looking at you and discussing this or that, but I confess - I am not really present. My mind is somewhere else... At any given moment I am feeling a private kind of terror, a whirlwind of dizzying excitement or absolute disbelief about the upcoming changes that will happen to my body.
Electing to radically change my appearance through surgery makes me feel crazy, hopeful and vain - all at the same time. It will be a tremendous change - both physically and psychologically. I have read countless BR surgical reviews where patients reported that the physical pain/discomfort associated with large breasts (the back, neck, shoulder and head aches) disappeared almost immediately after surgery. I can't wrap my head around that sense of physical freedom that will be mine in just a couple more days, but the thought of it makes me tear up with indescribable joy and gratitude...
Psychologically, I have no regrets about what is to come - no lingering doubt or thoughts that I might miss 'them'. Absolutley not! It is degrading the way some men treat me. My boobs enter the room before I do, and can potentially attract unwanted attention. When I go in for my surgery in a couple days, the surgeon won't be just removing three pounds of breast tissue. He will also be removing years and years and years of teasing, insensitive comments, and feelings of humiliation. I shall bear my new scars with honor, for they will be testament to the fact that I have born this burden for long enough, and that I am worth this gift I can't even begin to put a price on. This isn't about my inability to accept my body as is. This is about taking charge to end the pain, and loving myself enough to take my life in a totally new direction.
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Well said! You rock!!
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